The first heirloom in my newly-wed family is a silken patchwork sash of reds and pinks, lovingly designed, artfully stitched, brought into being by a chain of love.
Sonja helped me create this emblem of love and of my Chinese heritage for my wedding last summer. She enlisted her dear friend, artist Eileen Belmont to help sew and design it. Last June, when I texted Mequitta a photo of a beautiful patchwork sash I’d found online, asking, “How hard do you think it would be to make something like this?”, I had forgotten that Mequitta’s gift of patchwork was learned from her mom. So it was a surprise when Mequitta said that her mom had offered to help. Knowing that Sonja was ill, I did not want to trouble her, but Mequitta assured me that it would make her mom happy to be a part of it. Mequitta helped me see that for Sonja to help me was also an act of love for Mequitta. This sash represents a chain of deep deep love. More than a chain, maybe an energy wave? Where the love is so deep, it encompasses the beloved’s love. Mequitta is one of my nearest and dearest friends, and through her I was granted the generosity of Sonja’s love. Through Sonja I was granted the generosity of Eileen’s love. Through us all run the threads of Sonja’s strength, wisdom, creativity and deep insight. The making of the sash happened at a most unlikely time, and its timing reflects the kind of generosity and integrity that Sonja embodied. In late June, Sonja, Mequitta and I started chatting about the sash and the possibility of making it. Sonja was so kind and supportive of me, chatting with me over FaceTime about what I hoped for, offering her perspective ever so gently, emailing back and forth about fabric ideas, and enlisting her dear friend Eileen, an accomplished textile artist, to help design and make the sash. When Sonja’s surgery was rescheduled for late July, I had only just sent the fabrics to Connecticut. I figured the timing might not work out to make the sash in time for our August wedding- as of course the sash should not be a priority compared to the prep or recovery of the surgery. I hoped fervently that the recovery process would be smooth for Sonja. When Sonja wrote to me, just 11 days after the surgery, that the sash was ready, I was floored. I couldn’t believe she was reaching out to me, taking care of this gift, when she had just had such a major surgery. When Sonja sent the sash to me in a special cloth bag she herself sewed after her surgery, I was moved to tears. What an extraordinary generosity, and enormous heart, that Sonja followed through on this gift even in the midst of recovering from major surgery. What extraordinary love, that Eileen followed through on this gift even in the midst of Sonja going through major surgery. I am so grateful to have experienced this generosity of love that Sonja embodied, that Mequitta nurtures, that Eileen emanates. It is incredibly precious to have this love expressed in such a beautiful physical form that will be a part of my family heritage ever onward.
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